im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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