Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
