So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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