dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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