Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
