pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
