Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize