Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
