You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize