I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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