He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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