ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
