well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
