So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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