Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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