Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
