She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
