i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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