Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
