god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I queefed so loud it echoed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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