He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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