They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
