I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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