apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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