dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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