we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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