fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
