They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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