Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
