The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
All the doctor said was why
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
