they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize