I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
