Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So much rum. So many feels.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
