Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
