Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
