thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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