is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
