I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i believe in u and ur pee
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
