So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
