3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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