I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
