So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
