Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
