last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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