i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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