he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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