We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
