R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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