My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
