The maid of honor just puked.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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