He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
