I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
