it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
