the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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