I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
