i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
