So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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