lets start a swedish sibling band together
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
