Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
