Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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