I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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