Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How does one acquire holy water?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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