Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
