We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
