ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize