Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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