so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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