airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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